#even if the learning curve is pretty steep

[handgiven]

life update: finally got a job settled. lots of learning the processes of a bakery. made 50 breads by hand the other day (ask me for advice on how to knead bread because i know now, i guess). waking up early is fun for me. carrying 25kg bags of flour is no problem. feeling like i kind of went off with the assumption that this could be something i could be good at. that being said i do come home fairly exhausted and incapable. i hope that settles once i get more of a routine going. once i manage to plan my shifts a lil more and stuff. hope to be back to writing soon <3

[sunshine304]

FTH Fanbinding: "Concord" by Deastar

@youhideastar won my FTH auction and gave me a great gift: She wanted me to bind her CQL fic "Concord" including the thorough author's commentary she'd done. I was so happy when she chose this fic because I'd loved it so much and had pondered doing a fanbinding of it at some point anyway. 😄

Now that the book has finally arrived (spending two days in the air even, I guess, at least when one looks at the tracking info 😆), I can show it off here!

I tried some new stuff on this bind and also some things that I'd only done once before and that definitely need some, uh, perfecting. 😅 But overall, I'm very pleased with how this book turned out, as it's pretty close to what I'd imagined when I started it.

The fic is set in Cloud Recesses and Dea and I agreed that the colour blue should be prominent in the design, as it not only fits the setting, but also is of significance in the story itself. As the rules and traditions of the Lan sect also are quite important, I wanted a very clean, simple style for the case, a bit reminiscent of traditional Chinese bindings.

I did the title as a cut-out and used Japanese transparent paper for some extra flavour. The paper shows up inside the book as well early on and I liked the recurring motive of it. I'm also really pleased how well the hot foil came out on it! I was a bit scared that it might rip or something, but it's quite sturdy, after all.

I thought about doing a faux stab binding with red thread to get even more of a traditional feel, but then decided against it as I'd wanted to use two different blue book cloths and I felt that it might get too busy. Instead, I used the red ribbon as a nod to Wei Wuxian.

The little cloud illustration is used several times in the typeset and I like how it comes out in the title. I didn't even mess up this title, yay! (Mine's got a few tiny blotches but uh well, better mine than Dea's!)

I painted the edges with metallic watercolours - the second time I tried painting edges, but this time with several colours and trying to do a little illustration as well. Big thanks to @zhalfirin who quickly answered my question about how to get the paint to actually stick. 😆 I'd read several posts about how awesome water colours are for foreedge painting, but none mentioned that this kind of paint just rubs off again (I am no artist and have no knowledge of different kinds of paint). Zhalfirin told me to mix in glue and also wax the edges afterwards, which I both did and I think it's fine now. At least my fingers didn't turn blue. 😅

I really love how the shading came out on the head/tail; it could've been better on the foreedge and it looked great while the paint was still wet. Steep learning curve, this thing. I also died trying to sand the edges and I didn't get them completely smooth, but at least smooth enough to work with. That also needs some more work, I guess.

First time I sewed endbands with four different colours! I think they came out quite well! I also forgot the second row of dark blue on Dea's book and had to unravel half the endband again when I noticed at the very end... 🤦‍♀️

Nice marbled endpapers. For the title page spread, I used part a very famous Chinese painting, as it not only reminds me of the Gusu mountains but also, again, is very traditional. I played around with the colours to give the picture a bit of a bluer tinge.

The typeset itself was very straight-forward. There's the fic without commentary, and then the second part with it. I used a grey background for the comment parts to make it stand out from the actual story.

I had lots of printer issues with this fic (my copy actually had even more issues because the printer treated every page as an image for unknown reasons and therefore it not only took forever, it's also a tiny bit blurry. Hmpf.) and the greys tended to have a bit of a blue tinge, which was not my intention. But at least it works with the overall theme, I guess! 😅

I also did an extensive Appendix with all the meta links mentioned in the commentary as well as cut scenes and a little "praise for the author" section.

Last but not least, I decided to try making a slipcase for the first time! DAS_Bookbinding on youtube has good tutorials on that and I used one of them. It worked well on the first try. The second try, I used sturdier cardboard and should've added a few millimetres to the width, because the book didn't fit - the ribbon got stuck and I feared that it might get damaged. So I had to redo the case and then it was perfect.

I used wallpaper as cover material. 😄 The one you see on the outside? That's my living room wallpaper, a light blue with a lovely pattern and soft shimmer to it. My camera unfortunately is refusing to get the colour right.🤷‍♂️

The assembling process went well, for the most part. I'd forgotten to shorten the endpapers a bit which I only realised after I'd started casing in my copy. I carefully separated the textblock from the case again and then, in a moment of complete mental blackout, tried to cut the wet paper. 🤦‍♀️ That didn't go well. I managed to salvage it, mostly, and of course didn't repeat the mistake with Dea's copy, but ugh. 😆

This was a super fun project and I'm very happy with it! Thank you again, Dea, for your faith in me and your super generous donation! 💙

Materials used:

Printed on Clairefontaine DCP 100g

Case and endpapers:

booklinen Colibri cornflower

booklinen Paradise aqua

marbled paper 120g

transparent Japanese paper

Hot Foil (Memory Keepers)

Slipcase:

fleece wallpaper Newroom Nisa lightblue

fleece wallpaper grey glitter

[erelavent]

The streets are saying that Checo is going to lose his seat. If that's true, here's what I think should happen. I think Checo should finish out the year at Redbull because, let's face it, Redbull doesn't really have anyone to replace him with at this point in time. Liam Lawson is too green, Yuki isn't white enough, and I don't think Daniel wants that drive badly enough to subject himself to the humiliation of crawling back to Redbull.

The best option for Redbull would be to negotiate with Williams for Franco Colapinto. Here is why:

Franco needs a seat, and Redbull has one.

If Checo does leave this year, Redbull loses 2 of its most profitable drivers in the span of a few months. That doesn't just affect Redbull, F1 themselves know it's a problem because Checo admittedly brings in a large Latin American audience. Franco Colapinto could serve as a replacement and keep Latin American engagement and sales high.

Franco is also just a very engaging driver overall. Outside of the Latin American sphere, he has garnered a lot of fans in a very short time.

Franco Colapinto has proven himself to be speedy and have pretty good race craft even in that super temperamental Williams. He adapts really quickly, which will come in handy at Redbull, where the learning curve is steep. He can prove to be a good partner to Max and help Redbull get back into championship contention next year.

Franco won't challenge Max. He's too young and inexperienced to be a major threat to Max, so he'll aid and abet his war crimes without causing any major drama.

Alternatively, here are some reasons why Franco Colapinto shouldn't take that 2nd Redbull seat if it's offered:

It's cursed. No one ever has ever had a good time in that 2nd seat. Pierre Gasly and Alex Albon are screaming, "I think I've seen this film before, and I didn't like the ending" from the sidelines. That second redbull seat will chew you up and spit you out. Franco may come out worse rather than better on the other side.

Franco won't actually get to challenge Max. There is a clear #1 driver on that team, and if Franco has championship dreams, as he should, he isn't gonna achieve them at Redbull. The last thing he wants is to be relegated to a second driver for the rest of his career.

He will obviously serve as the token Latin American representation Redbull needs after replacing Checo. I've said it before, F1 needs to do actual work to organically grow it's Latin American fan base rather than relying on single drivers to bring in the fans.

I'm sure there are other points but these are the ones that come to the forefront of my mind right now.

[thydungeongal]

hi! I'm considering trying Rolemaster (thanks to you putting it on my dash constantly), but I'm frankly a bit terrified of just how complex it is. (coming from micro-rpgs)

is it fun to play, in the end? and more importantly, is it fun to learn?

If you're used to simpler RPGs, it can be daunting to both learn and play. I would liken Rolemaster to something like Dwarf Fortress: almost impenetrable at first, demands a lot of time and patience, and even when you do start learning it there is a pretty steep learning curve.

But is it fun to play? Absolutely. You can get so much emergent gameplay out of those tables and the tables make for some really fun little stories.

And like. The base mechanics of the game are pretty simple. It's 1d100+modifiers cross-references on a cool table. The actual difficult part is to figure out all the modifiers (from stats and skill ranks AND all the situational modifiers!)

[disturbedbeautywrites]

They call you what? - Jake Seresin and Bradley Bradshaw x Roomie! Reader

A/N: So this is part of the new beginnings universe and I have loved getting to explore this universe with these three!

Read the first part here

Living with two naval aviators was proving to be a pretty steep learning curve. Their terminology, jargon, and abbreviations were usually lost on you and more often than not you ended up googling things to keep up with conversations.

You were sitting in the living room reading a book when one of these conversations were going on, Jake and Bradley walking in the front door both still clad in their uniforms from work. “Can you believe the new guys call sign? That’s just brutal.” The words came from Jake’s lips as Bradley shook his head in return, both their eyes falling on you.

“What’s a call sign?” You never took your eyes off the book as the words left your lips, eyebrows just scrunching up in curiosity as you tried to place why what they were talking about was so funny. They spoke navy, as you liked to tell people, and it felt like a foreign language to you. You had been trying, you really had. But, there’s only so much a girl could do.

The silence in the air was palpable as you looked up from your book, awe-struck looks on both of the pilots faces. They were frozen in shock, Jake’s look more exaggerated than Bradley’s as was his dramatic tendency.

“You really don’t know what a call sign is?” Jake wasn’t even trying to hide his amusement and clear disappointment as he leaned against the wall, eye brows raised in his cocky and arrogant fashion. “Nope, not everyone knows your secret navy language.” You shrugged and put your bookmark in your pages, being able to tell this was going to be a long conversation.

You sat the book down as Bradley sank down into the couch beside you, looking over at you. “Think of it as nicknames that we go by almost exclusively.” He shrugged, making it sound super simple. The answer made you nod, looking at both of the men as you waited for them to tell you what their call signs were.

“Mine is hangman.” Jake looked pretty damn proud of himself and you tried to hold in a laugh, which earned you a scoff in return. “Hangman? Like the child’s game?” You finally let out the laugh you were holding in, covering your mouth. “D-does that mean people think about strangling you when they say that to you daily?” You were uncontrollably laughing now, getting a glare from Jake as Bradley cracked up beside you as well.

“Well, rooster. Why don’t you answer that for her? And I swear to god if you play the dead dad card.” Jake’s voice was sharp and cold as you slowly stopped laughing, your face softening at the end of Jake’s words. “Yeah, mine is because my dads was goose. But at least I gave mine to myself. Hangman here, wasn’t so lucky.” Bradley deflected the conversation back to a fuming Jake, who walked into the kitchen and grabbed a beer. He immediately brought it up to his lips, taking a long swig. “Well, I’m still the only aviator with 2 confirmed kills, so it doesn’t matter. Clearly I’m the best.”

You just scoffed at his words as you sat there deep in thought, looking between the two boys. They were best friends and yet they bickered like an old married couple; it was very amusing to you. You waited out the silence and the dramatic fuming before speaking up, your voice thoughtful and hopeful. "Can I have a cool call sign?"

Bradley smiled and immediately nodded as he went to work thinking of one, Jake smirking and chuckling to himself. "What's so funny?" You huffed as you looked at him, his cockiness practically oozing out of his pores. "AAR; that's what it is." Your eyebrows furrowed in confusion as you tried to decipher what on earth that could mean, "Annoying ass roommate." You huffed and threw a pillow at the blonde, making him yelp quietly before Bradley spoke up.

"You know, I think it's time we let the professionals pick out her call sign. Y/N, it's time you meet our squad. They're going to be the ones who pick it out for you. You meet them tomorrow." Bradley patted you on the shoulder before he stood up off the couch and walked towards his room, hangman frowning in the kitchen. You were not supposed to be integrated into his life like this. This is not how it was supposed to happen. But, now, you were slowly starting to take hold.

[fox-teeth]

Recently a post came across my dash where an artist made a guide to the (digital) brushes they used in a piece and I thought it would be fun to make my own version.

Almost all of my work is inked traditionally and this page of Basilisk is pretty typical of the nibs and brushes I use. The Series 7 brushes especially are my go-to tools.

For the actual inks I use Speedball Super Black with nibs, Winsor & Newton Black Indian Ink with brushes, and Deleter White 2 for corrections. I've recently started using a silicon "color shaper" tool with the white ink to good results (less clogged brushes/smoother application), but honestly I do a lot of corrections digitally.

I ink on 100 lb vellum bristol paper--Canson XL or Strathmore 300 series typically. I know it's typically recommended to ink on smooth bristol, but I prefer the rougher vellum texture even with nibs.

I would generally recommend any of these products to someone looking to get into traditional inking, with the caveat that the learning curve can be steep for the nibs and brushes if you're used to digital or disposable pens like microns.

[homestuckreplay]

Favorite Homestuck Character: 27th US President William Howard Taft

(page 556-566)

8/29/2009 Wheel Spin: Dramatic Irony Verdict: Puns, The Lower Form Of Humor

8/31/2009 Wheel Spin: Parent Bad :( Verdict: Brother Truly Awful And Horrendous

We begin these pages with John, followed by a quick cut to Dave. Both of them navigating the dangers of their home and the possibility of being watched, but in very different ways.

The Colonel Sassacre and Bathtub level ups are clearly just a setup for puns, so I’m not gonna read too much into the idea that everything can level up (yet). But Colonel Sassacre gained 9550 boondollars from his level, so he must be pretty far up the echeladder compared to the bathtub (490) and John’s meager 200. Sassacre’s new level is ONE MAN JULEP VACUUM. A julep is a chilled cocktail, today usually made with mint, bourbon and crushed ice, although historically used rose petals and was prescribed for health. In 1939, the mint julep became the official drink of the Kentucky Derby after being drunk there probably since its inception. For the ‘genteel, aristocratic southern colonel’ hoovering up a large number of juleps at the derby must be a sign of social status. A high achievement indeed.

Meanwhile, the bathtub’s levels are both references to apocryphal bathtub-related stories. ARCHIMEDED was the ancient Greek mathematician who got into the bathtub and realized that placing an object into a liquid would displace that volume of that liquid (and could therefore determine what metal an object was made from, via the relationship between weight, volume and density) and ran naked through the streets yelling “eureka!” So, his AQUACRADLE is the watery crib that nourished and inspired him. Meanwhile, William TAFT was the US President famous for being the heaviest person in office, who was believed to have gotten stuck, or JAMMED, in the White House bathtub. Although both of these stories are probably false, they’re famous and they’re fun references.

Finally, VAULTHALLA is a pun on Valhalla, the hall of slain warriors in Norse mythology. It’s horrific as a pun (complimentary) but I do think p.558 is the best looking page in all of Homestuck so far. The jewel tones streaked to create the sunset and the sea, the way the boat bobs on the waves and the fire flickers and is reflected in the water is way more beautiful than it needs to be to carry the pun.

LAD SCRAMBLE (p.560) is John’s equivalent of YOUTH ROLL (p.379) in terms of being acrobatic feats attempted and failed by these characters. Can’t wait for Dave’s Dude Scoot and GG’s Kid Tumble. But I am really glad this happened to our boy on the lowest flight and not miles above the house. The code violations on Rose’s building are scarier to me than the absolutely MASSIVE imp that shows up afterwards.

As predicted, this is the rook. It has a better moveset than the imps and is worth about five of them power-wise which is absolutely more than John can handle. The learning curve of Sburb continues to be really steep. I wonder if all the enemies are literally climbing up from below? It makes sense given that they’re part of the forces of darkness, and it sets the game up as a giant chase using architecture, where – at a certain point – just out-climbing the smaller enemies might be more effective than killing them, and only the higher level enemies will even reach the players.

Returning to Dave after a hundred pages away from him is like stepping from the normal world into the first layer of endless puppet hell. His mind is a complex and terrible place, but he – or the narrator – is getting closer to admitting some things. He feels ‘pangs of jealousy’ about his bro’s turntable gear and there’s a mention of getting worked up, and he acknowledges that his bro’s comic ‘get[s] under [his] skin’ and that he thinks it’s ‘just a little TOO ironic.’ He is also aware that ‘trouble’s a-brewin’ due to a missing sword. This feels like somebody getting sucked in too deep to a subculture that’s fine in moderation, but then somebody takes it way too far to the point that it’s harmful – but by then it’s too late to get out, especially when that somebody lives with you, has power over you and presents themself as an authority.

Today I learned that ‘Animal’ is the actual name of a Muppets character (along with Rowlf). This comic is of course puppet themed – Bro does not have a diversity of interests – being tormented by Jigsaw from the movie Saw, which I will watch soon. The art style is different to Sweet Bro & Hella Jeff, less pixelated and artifacted with some hand lettering instead of Comic Sans, darker in both tone and color palette. I’m sure this is post-post-post-post-ironic to some people but to me this is just every ‘what if we took a children’s story… and made it Fucked Up’ post that has been made on the internet in the last decade.

There’s also near-confirmation that Bro is hiding close by and messing with Dave’s mind via sylladex. On p.563, there’s a flash of the sword on the wall being captchalogued, and on p.564, the flash of Lil Cal being de-captchalogued – both from back towards the couch area if my mental picture of the room is right. Out of every character we’ve met so far, Dave’s bro is the one without a single redeeming quality; every new fact or insinuation draws him as an even worse guy.

[bookshelfdreams]

Hey, probably a question you have heard a thousant times. But what is the best way to get into any of the fiber arts? Books? Youtube? Actual people teaching you? (and if so how in the hell do you find them)

I started crochet and knitting but I pretty much can't get out of the basics, I can't managed to finish something that I have started cuz I always get frustrated that it's starting to look bad...

Hi! That's actually a really good question. Unfortunately (or maybe fortunately, depending on how u look at it) the only way to get any better at fibre crafts, is to keep doing them. Practice really does make perfect. There is no book or video tutorial or in-person teacher that holds the one ultimate secret that will make you Good At Crafts. All of these can be valuable resources if you struggle to understand how to do a specific thing; you can be taught stitches, and how to read charts, and such things. But the only way to really learn is to practice.

This is because there are more skills involved in crafting than just knowing how to do certain stitches. Confidence, patience, frustration tolerance: you can't learn that from tutorials. These are essential skills that you need to build. And the best way to build them, I'm afraid, is to actually finish the damn thing. Even if it has mistakes. Even if it "looks bad". You need to learn how to tolerate imperfections, if you ever want to get anything done.

Now that doesn't mean you should bully yourself. If you get easily bored and frustrated, leave the scarves and sweaters for now, and start small. Potholders, dishcloths, scrubbies or coasters are all projects that finish up quickly and yield usable objects, even when they are not perfect. If you never allow yourself the dopamine rush of Fuck Yeah I Made That, how do you expect yourself to build up the resilience to stick through the parts where it is slow and difficult and makes your fingers hurt?

Here are Ravelry searches for free dishcloth and potholder patterns.

Of course that doesn't mean you should only do those projects. You can do whatever you want. The most important thing is to teach yourself that you can have success, and the only way to do this is to successfully make things.

Also, it should always be fun. If it's not at least a little bit fun, maybe the technique isn't for you. This is also an important skill to develop: To learn when to stick through a bout of frustration, and when to abandon something.

There is a very steep learning curve. But you can and you will get there. I believe in you, and I also believe that what "looks bad" to you is perfectly fine.

[shellem15]

One thing I’ve seen people talking about as a possible solution to the whole gods issue is turning the gods mortal—permanently.

Remove the throne entirely. Put gods and mortals on the same playing field. This option does have one obvious benefit: if the gods are like everybody else, then the damage they can inflict is severely reduced.

But I don’t think this is as clean an answer as people think it is, for multiple reasons. My first question would be “what happens to clerics and paladins?” Now, we know that divine magic exists outside the gods, but the vast majority of clerics and paladins (aka our primary healers) get their magic from gods. I imagine learning how to harness that magic outside the gods would be a pretty steep learning curve, so removing that source of power would cause a whole boatload of issues for healthcare in Exandria.

Another problem would be the mass amounts of social upheaval due to the loss of these divine figures. Wars would be fought, communities destroyed, massive power vacuums opened— thousands would die if the gods were destroyed (or made mortal.) Not to mention, the power vacuums and violence opened up on planes other than Exandria. Celestials and angels would be leaderless and directionless, demons would be free to wreak havoc on other planes. Devils are explicitly kept in line by the Lord of the Hells, without him to control them, what effect would the resulting power-struggle have on Exandria and the rest of the planes?

My third question would be how this change would effect their domains? I don’t think it would erase them entirely, the world is here and here to stay, but much like the social upheaval I think there would be much upheaval in how Exandria functions. The domains the gods rule over would be left on their own, with no one to guide or direct them. This, I imagine, would have its own set of benefits and drawbacks.

My fourth question is, would turning the current gods mortal prevent new gods from ascending? Or would it just leave the throne open, like Ashton said. Unless the concept of godhood was removed entirely, wouldn’t this problem just repeat itself? With no guarantee that those new gods will be at all merciful or tolerant towards mortals. Additionally, I have to ask what this would mean for near-godly entities. What about Archfey, Archdevils, Demon Lords, Archangels, and other Demi-powers? Where do they fit in this new order? They give spells, have worshippers, hold powers greater than mortals could imagine. How much power is too much power to have when it is fundamental to one’s nature?

I want to take a moment to talk about a scene from the Witch, the Wizard, and the Wild One, which is run by Bleem himself and has Lou Wilson, Erika Ishii, and Aabria Iyengar as players (which you should definitely check out it’s so good y’all). Heavy Spoilers for Arc 1 ahead:

In the city of Port Talon, our heroes learn that the wizards of the Citadel have imprisoned the great spirit of the ocean, Naram, underneath the barracks out in the harbor. Naram is a gentle spirit, and has been holding back from freeing himself, because he knows that in doing so he would destroy Port Talon. Naram’s wife, Orima of the Reaching Green, is not a gentle spirit, and has been encircling the city with deadly kudzu to try to free Naram. Eursulon, one of our heroes, frees Naram but gets trapped in his place. Naram stays to free Eursulon in turn, and has a moment of decision to make. Ame, the Witch of the World’s Heart, can influence this decision. Either Naram can sacrifice himself to free Eursulon, destroying himself but sparing Citadel forces. Or, he can choose to destroy the barracks, freeing Eursulon but damming the Citadel Wizards and their forces.

Ame and Naram chose violence, and the barracks are destroyed. The scene is truly horrifying, the destruction and death extraordinary even while Naram is being as precise as he can be. He is simply too vast a being to be delicate amongst humanity, despite all his efforts. He still loves Port Talon, still chooses mercy whenever he can. He is just on another playing field entirely.

I want to note, however, that the vastness of his being doesn’t make him evil. It doesn’t make Orima evil, despite her propensity for extreme violence and antagonism towards our heroes. They think a lot like humans, but aren’t human. Their morality is not the same as ours, and that informs their actions. Naram’s destruction would have, perhaps, reduced the net violence that occurred. But it also would have removed a source of great magic and wonder from the world, one that could never have been gotten back. Who are we to destroy or change a being simply because they do not play by our rules? Simply because they act in accordance to their nature and are greater than us?

(Spoilers over)

The last question I want to ask is one more about the personal ethics in turning the gods mortal. Because if you think about it for a minute, it’s really fucked up actually. This isn’t reappropriating wealth from a rich person, this is fundamentally changing the gods’ nature. Likely by force for a lot of them. And I’m sorry, there are so many ethical issues with that.

It’s important to keep in mind, while the gods are quite human-like, they aren’t human. The gods we see in downfall are a fraction of their true power and their true selves, filtered through a mortal lens. They are messy and emotional and have complex feeling and emotions but they are also greater concepts like nature and law and destruction. You cannot separate these two sides of them, you cannot separate the mortal from the divine. To do so would fundamentally change their beings, and that has absolutely horrifying implications.

I’m reminded of a scene from the Last Unicorn, where the unicorn wakes up in a human body. She is horrified, weeping and crying about what she has lost. She can feel her body is different, it’s wrong, it’s dying around her and she can do nothing to stop it. Her mind is human and her memory of her life before fades. She becomes a unicorn again by the end of the movie, but she is forever changed. Forever burdened by knowing love and loss and pain. Something she was never supposed to know.

What would happen if you removed Asha from the Wildmother? You are being that is one with the world and knows the roots of every plant, can hear the beating of every animal’s heart, are interwoven with the mountains and the forests and the rivers and the seas. And then, suddenly, all of that is gone. Suddenly you exist solely within a body of flesh and bone, one that ages and dies, one that forgets the life before. You cannot feel the roots, you cannot hear the heartbeats, the mountains and the forests and the rivers and the seas are no longer yours. Are no longer you. Would that be more or less horrifying than becoming real, do you think?

In some ways, you are capable of changing, now. You can be anything. But you are no longer eternal. You are limited in the scope of what is you. And isn’t that another horror?

Congratulations, the gods are mortal. You’re on the same playing field, but the world has lost a great source of magic and wonder. You have changed them. I hope it was worth it.

Maybe Tishar is right. We really do love destroying things we don’t understand.

In the end, I don’t think there are any clear or clean answers here. Everything is going to be messy, there’s always going to be someone left unsatisfied. I’m just laying out my thoughts on the matter, and why turning the gods human isn’t as clean a solution as people seem to think it is.

[noah-liketheboat]

I’ve recently begun using a wheelchair. Here’s the scoop.

I also started using forearm crutches even more recently but we’ll get to that in a second post bc this one got too long

I got my chair for $325 on OfferUp. It’s a motion composites Helio A6, and it has some fancy cushions on it. All in all I got it like 88% off of original price and it’s in pristine condition. Well, it was, until I brought it home and within 24 hours my cat scratched the (pink!!) paint job and put holes in the cushions. Thanks Misty. It now lives in the back of the car for its protection.

I put a clip-on cup holder on it and purple/white spoke covers. It’s pretty sick.

I use my wheelchair instead of walking/standing probably 30-40% of the time.

Personally

Oh my god it’s helped so much. I have so much more energy. I don’t flinch when I stand or walk. I can wait in line for food. I’m not dizzy, embarrassingly sweaty, and spacey just from standing in line anymore.

Because the previous owner spent literally $1,000 on special cushions (seat and back), I have the comfiest seat in any room 96% of the time. 10/10 would recommend. It helps with the back pain too obvi but first and foremost it’s so comfy.

I can go to the zoo. I get into the zoo for free because college but I can’t ever go because I can’t tolerate walking and standing for so long. But now I can go to the zoo!

I have more energy at the end of the day to participate in household chores and life. Before this, all my time was spent either in school or trying to recover enough to go to school again. Even doing my homework was difficult because of the fatigue, let alone date nights, hobbies, cooking dinner, sweeping the floors… it caused a lot of tension between me and my partner as well as my general being miserable.

Very steep learning curve. Very steep strength curve.

The ramp to my math class isn’t a steep grade but it’s long. When I started using it, I had to wheel up backwards. I got out of breath very easily and my shoulders were always aching something awful after going between classes. Now that hill is quite manageable and I only have sore shoulders if I’m going really fast or really far.

Wheelies. An unexpected but important skill. One that I am not good at. It took me weeks to get my wheels off the ground at all, but once I did I had a huge improvement and quickly was able to get my wheels ~6 or 8 inches off the ground. I still can’t sustain it though. I use them to go over bumps and get started up awkward ramps sometimes.

It’s been an amazing improvement to my life. I’m more independent, in less pain, happier, and more energetic. I should’ve done it earlier.

Observations:

People are weird. They talk to me more. Like, strangers ask me how my day is going in the elevator, people make small talk when they hold the door. This isn’t necessarily negative, but it is weird.

Kids stare. Adults also stare but they try to hide it. I don’t mind when kids stare though. They’re just curious and unaware.

I’m always a little nervous to ever stand up or walk out in public in case someone either thinks it’s a miracle and starts praising the lord or like hate-crimes me for “faking.”

When I wheeled in to all my classes after spring break, my teachers and seat mates were all instantly “oh my god what happened are you ok???” It’s a little awkward to explain that it’s just nerve damage that’s been getting worse.

People usually say “I’m so sorry” or “I hope you get/feel better soon!” And it’s like. I know their intentions are good, of course, but I don’t want people to be sorry! This has been an amazing life change for me! Also I’m not getting better, certainly not any time soon, and conversation gets awkward after that.

I think when I tell people it’s not really a “get better” thing, I think they at least subconsciously think it’s terminal or something?? Like. I’m not dying of nerve damage. I had nerve damage before spring break too. It’s just I finally decided to do something besides suck it up and hope I can make it through the day.

My campus is not as accessible as I once thought. The main culprit? UNLEVEL SIDEWALKS. They are the bane of my existence. My right arm will be pumping like my life depends on it and my left will be almost doing nothing. And then later when I’m doing the other way it’ll be the opposite.

There’s no ramp on the other side of one of the buildings I walk through to get to class. That was awkward.

There’s also a lot of cobblestone-type walking areas. Not only are they hella bumpy to wheel on, but they’re old and not well maintained. The cracks between slabs and the potholes can and will eject me from my chair if I’m not careful.

Funny story #1:

I rolled into the disability center on campus to take a test, as per usual (extended time and testing environment accommodations) and they had me wait while they got everyone else seated, which was weird, and then the testing coordinator came over to me and sat down next to me and was like “heyy how are you?” And I was like “I’m good, I’m good! Ah, well—*gestures to chair* yknow.” And she goes “Yeahh of course… so is this… new?”

Is it new??? Ma’am you see me every three weeks on the dot for tests, and every time for the past two years I’ve walked in on my own two feet, and today I come rolling in as I’ve transgendered into a vehicle. Yeah it’s new!!

Don’t worry I didn’t say that. I said “yeah, well, kind of. The chair is new, but the reasons aren’t. It’s just helping me a lot and my life is easier with it.” or smthn like that and she was like “oh ok good cool great”

Anyways, she just needed to tell me essentially that she would have me take my test at a height-adjustable table. Same room, same everything. Just instead of sitting in a test cubby I’d be at what’s essentially one of those standing desks. I was all nervous just for her to sit me at a table I can crank up and down like an old car window.

Funny Story #2

I’m rolling across the courtyard(??) in front of the library where they were having one of those random college of business things with tents everywhere. You’re aware. Just trying to get to class.

I hear “Hey! Excuse me, hey!” from behind me and I turn my head to see a girl frantically waving me down running across the grass. Naturally I’m intrigued.

She gets to me, a little out of breath, and then goes “Would you be interested in playing tennis?”

I look down at my chair. I look back up at her. “Ah… no…”

She was talking about adaptive tennis. Which I could’ve guessed probably but I was caught so off-guard and I was real confused.

She invited me to join the adaptive sports program/club thing, which is headed by a disabled professor but run entirely by able-bodied students (who get a class credit for volunteering with the organization, essentially). I told her I was really new so probably not, but I was willing to look into it. She gave me the professor’s email and I sent him an email like “hey one of your students flagged me down to talk abt adaptive sports but I’m shit at wheelchairing so probably not but I’d love to meet up and chat and get to know more about the program and stuff.”

It’s been a month. I haven’t gotten a reply or acknowledgement or anything.

All the stuff I can find about the program is obviously directed towards able-bodied students wanting them to volunteer or take the class. The Instagram has a post with each student in the class getting a slide with their lil intro and stuff. The professor only appears in group shots. At any rate I’m not that invested.

Personal Relations

Abled ppl when I told them I’m getting a wheelchair: oh no!! I’m so sorry!! What’s wrong!! That’s awful!! :((((

Disabled ppl when I told them I’m getting a wheelchair: omg that’s amazing I’m so happy for u :)

One exception to the able bodied trope: my youth group Bible study, surprisingly. I was sharing that I was really feeling a lot of turmoil about my decision and all that jazz and they were like “just do it. you already know it’s the right choice, and ur strong enough to do it” and they all “oohed” and “ahhed” when I rolled up with it next week. 10/10 queens.

My wheelchair has caused so many personal relationship issues in my life. So many.

Suddenly everyone’s a medical expert in me specifically. Everyone besides me knows what’s best, and what’s best is not a wheelchair. People who used to ask me what was wrong with them when they had a tickle in their throat or fell on their foot funny have apparently become scholars on complex hashimotos, nerve damage, neuropathy, and any and all suspected other conditions I may have. I wonder when they had time to do that, since they still don’t know how to care for a simple kitchen injury.

When I point out that the alternative to the wheelchair is constant+worsening pain and ask them if that’s what they think is best, these overnight medical experts get all huffy and don’t have an answer.

I have done extensive research about all my diagnosed conditions and possible ones over the course of many years. I’ve been in and out (mostly out) of at least a dozen doctor’s offices and done several rounds of different types of PT. I also live in my body 24/7. One of my earliest memories is of waking up my aunt at night during a sleepover because my nerve pain wouldn’t let me sleep. I wasn’t any older than 4. Back then the only words I had were leg cramps and growing pains.

I didn’t know my pain was abnormal for a long time. I’m good at hiding it. I’m good at “pushing through.” I experienced severe medical neglect, to the point of it being life-threatening, for nearly 2 years in the TTI and I was punished any time I tried to advocate for myself and my needs or really even talked about how I wasn’t physically well.

Basically I gave up trying to truly tell people how bad my quality of life was when I was about 16 because I wasn’t believed and I was often punished and/or had it used against me.

Nevertheless, everyone (read: my partner, my parents, and my partner’s parents) in my life thinks that I’m terrible awful wrong bad lying etc. for using the chair.

I’ve been using it for ~2 months and this is the first week my partner hasn’t argued with me about it or made an unnecessary comment. #1 worst thing they’ve said is that I’m “neglecting half of my body” by not walking 24/7. Oooh that made me mad. I do my PT almost every day, I stretch every day, I know exactly what almost every ache and pain originates from, I check in with my body constantly throughout the day. But I’m “neglecting it.” Not to mention that after my second appointment my Doctor specifically said he wants me using the chair until at least June.

My partner was originally very supportive, but then they talked to their mom and suddenly everything changed and they are borderline vindictive about my chair. Their mother is a Doctor, true, but most of her career she was a PICU nurse and also knows exactly nothing about my medical history except that I’m allergic to pecans and walnuts. Oh, and their dad has a friend who cured hashimotos by going gluten free, so obviously I’m just not trying hard enough or smthn. ((I’ve been almost gluten free before. No change.))

I cried every week about their attitude towards/comments about my chair except for this one. Every time I felt confident about it I would remember everything they said and my shoulders would physically slump. But no matter how many times I brought up how hurt and uncared for I was feeling, it ended up with me crying and them being either the same or more solid in their beliefs.

My therapist is a saint.

On the brightish side, my family and partner have finally begun taking my health and chronic issues seriously. I went to the Doctor two weeks after I got the chair and got started on a new medicine (a loop diuretic if anyone’s curious).

My mom keeps asking if I’m “better yet” and it’s really hurtful for some reason? She wants to know all my improvements, but when I start to say how my chair has helped so much, she cuts me off and says “no I mean the medicine.”

I am on the lowest dose they make, and I only take it every other day. I haven’t lost any weight since starting it (loop diuretics work by flushing excess water out of your body via peeing every twelve seconds, and this leads to weight loss. It’s estimated I’m carrying ~30lbs in water weight). Again, it’s been nearly two months. I’m the pissmaster 9000 every other day.

My mom at some point said she just “can’t accept that I’m in a wheelchair at 20.” My brother in Christ, what does that even mean? I’m not even using it full-time, or even the majority of the time.

I’ve had a follow up with my Doctor since I started but he kept me on the same dose even though I told him I haven’t lost any weight. Cest la vie.

He did tell me he wants me using the chair until at least June, and if all goes well he’ll start me in (another round of) PT, and it sounded like he wanted me doing decently intensive PT because he asked if I was in school in June and said it was good I wasn’t. If I go to PT, the chair usage advice will be passed on to them.

This post got far too long. I’ll split my crutches experience into a separate post and link it here once it’s up.

The chair herself. Yeah it’s in a bathroom don’t worry about it.

[valdevia]

how did you learn to do photo manips and photoshop art? what are your favorite inspirations and resources, for someone who's pretty new to it?

hearing other artist's inspirations & stories is helpful no matter what

I didn't learn anywhere in particular! I mostly taught myself over the years by myself by messing around in photoshop, adding in a few tutorials here and there when trying to achieve something specific.

When I was 13 I was making things like these:

This was around age 15:

I didn't do a lot of photoshop for a few years, but this was when I got back to it at age 20:

And it's been nearly 7 years of making art consistently ever since! After that improvements got slower but I've been consistently learning new techniques and improving my workflow.

Photoshop's learning curve can seem a little steep and daunting at first, but even just knowing your way around the program and being able to use just 30% of the tools will let you do 70% of what you aim for!

In terms of tutorials, the ones I used way back then were terrible youtube videos with bad audio and old photoshop versions, so I don't know the best channels to learn the basics nowadays!

I myself have made more than 5 hours of tutorials that go through every main part of my workflow and explain how to achieve specific effects, starting with a 101 video that teaches you every main button and tool on the program. They're available on my Patreon, you have to sign up at the 3rd tier but you only need to do so one month, once you have access to the playlist you keep it forever.

[princehendir]

especially for ppl new to turn based combat bg3 is not super simple to jump into. All of the spells and things you have to memorize about each class and character are really only going to translate well if you're used to turn based and/or already play DND and have familiarity with the classes and spells

Yeah like, even as someone who does have some familiarity with turn based games (older ones even!) and a good deal of familiarity with games that are like dnd (but not dnd) there's still been a pretty steep learning curve for me. And the sheer amount of information on screen is just a lot to get used to, it's intimidating!

[aparticularbandit]

The Rehabilitation of Agatha Harkness: Down, Down, Down The Road

Chapter Summary: Down the fucking road.

Chapter Rating: T. Fic Rating: T.

AO3

previous chapter

The thing about being a ghost is that Rio never once explained what being a ghost would be like.  She just did it.  Or didn’t – didn’t take Agatha with her when she left into whatever that place she dwells looks like.  The place where Nicky is.  She just left her here.

Which is fine, since Agatha wanted nothing more than for Rio to leave her alone.  Would have been nicer if she’d done it while Agatha was still alive, but that’s an entirely different conversation, and having that conversation would mean having to talk with Rio, which is…maybe not the last thing she wants right now, but it’s pretty up there.

But being a ghost means Agatha doesn’t always have continuity of presence.

Or – she does, but not in a way that the world around her acknowledges.

The world doesn’t like to acknowledge that she wants to fucking touch something, let alone pick it up, because the world doesn’t want to acknowledge that she’s still hanging around when she’s supposed to be dead (she is) and gone (she isn’t) and moved on to whatever it is Rio has waiting for her on the other side (hahahahahahahaha).  In fact, the world won’t have anything to do with Agatha unless she imposes a lot of will and force on it.

Now, Agatha is a very willful and forceful and stubborn person.  Always has been.  Always will be.

But there’s a very steep learning curve here in terms of interacting with the world, and trying to get Billy’s car to acknowledge that she exists so that she can actually ride in the car instead of zoom-zoom-zooming with her little ghost self to pretend that she’s riding in the car is part of that steep learning curve, so forgive her (or not, really, it’s up to you) if she doesn’t want to talk in the stupid car.

The first thing she needs to teach Billy is a good teleportation spell, but most of the spells Agatha knows for that involve wrapping her and whoever she’s teleporting with her in a mass cloud and also for a new baby witch would require him holding onto her, which Billy probably could do, except he probably doesn’t want to do that (fine by her) – and, more importantly, that would require him to concentrate on her when he needs to be focusing on the spell, which might be a little too much for his head to handle right now.

Sure, sure, Billy’s subconscious can create the entire Witches’ Road out of nothing but the lyrics of a song and his own imagination, but subconscious magic and conscious magic are two entirely different ballgames.

And by the time Billy is able to subconsciously teleport himself and Agatha together somewhere, little Tommy Maximoff might have disappeared entirely from wherever it is he’s at right now.

Not that they have any leads about where he is right now.

A point which Billy keeps hammering in.

“Look, kid, you’re the one who was able to feel his disembodied spirit hovering around.  Why don’t you tell me where he is, huh?”

Billy shoves his hands into his pockets.  “He’s in this direction,” he grumbles, “but walking isn’t going to get us there quickly.”

“Do you actually think that’ll help?”  Agatha hovers along the ground.  “Getting there quickly?”  There’s a way to zoom as a ghost from one place to the other; she knows there is because she’s seen other ghosts do the zoomies more than once (usually trying to run away from Rio, which never works the way they think it will).  She just can’t figure out how to do this.

Rio should have given her a learning manual.  Some tips.  Something.

“Don’t say I never gave you anything” my ass.

“Tommy will want to be with family.  I’m family.”

“And having your dear old mommy show up immediately after you took over what’s his bucket’s body—”

“William Kaplan.”

“Yeah, sure, whatever.”  Agatha flicks her hand out.  Nothing.  Not even little sparks of purple.  She’ll figure something out.  “You had to get used to your new body, right?  All those fancy family dynamics?”

Billy doesn’t say anything.  His thick brows knit together.

This is supposed to be the least boring option.

Agatha sighs.  “Walking the road is nice.”

“No, it’s not.  It’s shady, and someone’s going to try and pick us up—”

“Pick you up—”

“—and whoever your contact is—”  Billy cuts himself off and turns to Agatha, glares at her.  “Do you even have a contact, or is that another lie?”

Agatha shrugs.  “You don’t live as long as I do without having some contacts.”  She flicks something out from under her thumbnail.  She’s a ghost.  She shouldn’t get dirt under her fingernails.  What the ever-loving fuck.  “Not everyone hates me.”

Just most people.

….

A lot of people.

Billy lets out another huge sigh.  “You really want me to walk all the way to New York.”

“Noooooo,” Agatha hums.  “Just long enough for me to figure out how to—“

“Why don’t you just catch up?”  Billy stops and stares at her.  “I can just drive to New York—”

“Yeah, where the superhero and supervillain conventions like to have all their world-destroying parties.  You want to go to New York City with your uncontrollable powers all by yourself and get caught up in that, you have fun.”  Agatha tries to walk on the road instead of hovering above it.  She wants to hear the gravel crunch under her semi-transparent feet.  Nothing.

This sucks.

“We shouldn’t even be going to New York in the first place!”  Billy’s eyes narrow.  “Tommy’s not in New York, he was swimming, so he’s probably at a hospital—”

“They don’t take kids into the hospital for nearly drowning, Billy.”

“That boy did drown—”

“And he wouldn’t still be in the hospital now.”  Agatha stops abruptly.  “You can’t call every hospital within a certain direction based on vibes and think that you’ll get the exact hospital Tommy’s at, if he’s even at a hospital, which he probably isn’t.”  She waggles her fingers – she can still feel magic running around them like a coin trick, but it’s just. out of. reach.  “This is why you need me, hon.  Your little teenage brain doesn’t think good.”

“Think well.”

“If you say so.”

Billy groans.

[morelikeravenbore]

✨ Sebaura headcanons

Based on their relationship dynamic in my fic How to Make a Villain, in which Sebastian and Aurélie meet in their seventh year after Aurélie transfers to Hogwarts from Beauxbatons. Sebastian's fifth-year events still took place prior to her arrival, just without the Goblins/Keepers or MC/Ancient Magic.

A/N: These headcanons are taken directly from my fic and based on my own personal version of Sebastian. All headcanons are valid. ‼️ NO SPOILERS.

Aurélie Collins

Astrology big three: 🌞 Aquarius sun, ✨Taurus rising, 🌙 Capricorn moon.

🦋 Though she certainly isn't shy, Aurélie is a quiet girl. She observes more than she speaks and tends to keep her thoughts and opinions carefully guarded (until she's angry, in which case her fiesty French side comes out to yell at Sebastian lolol.) As such, she can come across as distant or aloof, but that's not to say she isn't friendly: she's very sweet, helpful and caring — it's just that she's more comfortable deflecting attention away from herself than she is being the centre of it. It can be hard to get her talking; generally, she won't say much until she feels comfortable with someone — but even then, she won't willingly offer a lot without some gentle coaxing (or aggressive coaxing, if you're Sebastian). Sebastian, naturally, is unperturbed by this (he "never backs down from a fight", as we know) and uses his tried-and-true stratgedy of relentless pursual to break through her stubborn defenses.

🦋 Great at suppressing unpleasant memories and emotions, Aurélie never outwardly expresses her pain until she explodes/implodes/has some kind of meltdown. She'll never ask for help, and would sooner jump in the lake than cry in front of another person. This is a practise in patience for Sebastian, whose impulsive need to fix, help and take charge is challenged by her tendency to withdraw, shut up and shut out.

🦋 Being the most stubborn girl on the planet, it takes her a very, very long time to admit she's in love with Sebastian, even when it's obvious to everyone (including him). Despite being smart and pretty, she has literally no romantic experience, so her relationship with Sebastian is a steep learning curve in vulnerability and trust.

🦋 Typically Ravenclaw, she's bright, excels academically and very rarely struggles to keep up with her school work. Even amid all the stress and trauma of her personal life, studying becomes something of a coping mechanism — something "beneficial" and "positive" she can distract herself with. Her academic talents may be in part helped by her ability to wield Ancient Magic (thus using magic comes easier to her), but also because she pays great attention to detail, has a sharp memory and loves to learn. At Beauxbatons, she took advanced classes from fourth year onwards.

🦋 Love language: Being a quiet girlie, she expresses her love best through non-verbal means like quality time, physical affection and gift giving.

🦋 Want vs need: Her greatest want is stability, but what she needs is to face periods of change and insecurity without withdrawing so she can find that stability within herself.

🦋 A fact: Being the guarded sort, Aurélie has never had a very wide circle of friends. When the family moved back to France when she was eight, she didn't meet her bestie Celeste until she started Beauxbatons three years later. In the meantime, her very first friend in France was a unicorn who lived in the forest near her house who she named Neige (French for snow). Her wand contains one of Neige's tail hairs.

Astrology big three: 🌞 Virgo sun, ✨ Aries rising, 🌙🌙 Scorpio moon.

🌿 Sebastian's connection with Aurélie is pretty much instantaneous, but it takes him a while to figure out that what he feels for her goes far beyond his natural inclination to "help". Between the two of them, Sebastian falls the fastest and the hardest, but he quickly learns that if he pushes her too hard and fast into reciprocating his feelings, Aurélie will withdraw. Again — this impulsive Aries rising bb learns a much needed lesson in patience when he meets his stubborn Taurus rising soulmate.

🌿 While Solomon's death certainly had an effect on him (lol?), it wasn't until Anne's death shortly afterwards that he really started to spiral. He blames himself more for Anne's death than he does Solomon's (justifying that Solomon's death was a act of self-defence, whereas Anne's was a result of his failure.) As a way to cope, Sebastian taps into his ambitious Slytherin nature to help alleviate his grief, losing himself under an insane workload: studies, homework, Healer training, Quidditch captain, extra N.E.W.T classes, reading every night until he practically drops. Everything he does, he does with the intention of deflecting his pain. It isn't until Aurélie shows up with her own grief and trauma that, so like a mirror, he finally starts to face his own.

🌿 Used to being a caregiver, Sebastian aspires to become a Healer, believing deep down that if he can heal others, he can absolve himself of his guilt and make up for the harm he's caused.

🌿 Like Aurélie, Sebastian doesn't like to ask for help. After a lifetime of being let down by caregivers and authority types, he's learned not to depend on anyone but himself to solve problems. When Aurélie can't — or won't — help herself, Sebastian takes on her responsibilities as if they're his own, shouldering her burdens as an unconscious act of repentance for his mistakes. When someone he loves is in need, the guilt of not doing enough to alleviate their suffering is simply too much for him to bear.

🌿 Love language: Sebastian's love language is Acts of Service and Physical Affection. Having been the main caregiver to Anne, he's learned to pay more attention to others needs than his own. When he notices Aurélie's aversion to the cold, he starts wearing more layers in case he needs to give them to her. When he notices she doesn't eat, he convinces the House Elves to make traditional French food for the Ravenclaw table. He puts others before himself — often to the detriment of his own well being.

🌿 Want vs need: His greatest want is acceptance, but what he needs is to learn that true acceptance comes first from honouring the limits and flaws in others before they, in turn, can accept those things in him.

🌿 A fact: He's older than Anne by five minutes. His mother used to tell the twins that when they were born, Sebastian came out of the womb screeching so loudly that they thought something was wrong with him. But when Anne arrived shortly after, he immediately became calm and quiet. It was the same way throughout their lives: Sebastian was prone to anxiety whenever he was away from Anne, which is another reason why fifth year was so difficult for him.

🦋 This post was inspired by this one by the lovely @intotheseas! Please check it out!

🦋 First two photos by me, last photo by @sleepywitchlory

[tozettastone]

Re: Naruto OC (again)

Sometimes she has to go and get a real (missing-nin) job because there's something she needs that she can't get with her regular judicious application of fraud and genjutsu. (Annoying.) When this happens, she almost always just impersonates whichever low level missing-nin she was most recently stalking, so it's a pretty common experience for, like, chuunin-level missing-nin to find their CVs expanded without any input of their own.

Imagine you're just Some Guy with a mangled forehead protector. You roll into a major city where every member of the criminal underclass recognise you on sight. You slowly piece together the shape of the job everyone is convinced you did. Uh-huh. You see. You sure seem to have done that, but there must be some mistake—maybe they want someone who just sounds a bit like you? No? Hmm. Yeah. Subverting the ownership of 40% of Water country's wharfs sure does seem like it would explain the sudden meteoric rise in the price on your head...

Unfortunately, a meteoric rise in bounty price without a concomitant rise in skill spells disaster for Some Guy.

The nameless missing-nin genjutsu master (who... probably does have names, given to her by other people) is always a little annoyed to be dragged away from her research, but she usually takes it philosophically. Oh, sure, she's having an impact on her own data both by publishing her research and by acting in the marketplace, right? But on the other hand, she's a missing-nin. She's an industry insider, isn't she? And bounty hunters are a vital part of the network anyway... But she has some pretty complicated epistemological feelings about how possible it is to be both observer and observed.

Anyway, if you are Some Guy, you probably get cornered by a bounty hunter in a few weeks' time. And you probably aren't even in deep enough to know what happened.

There's just such a steep learning curve for missing-nin? The industry is hard. I think someone published a paper about that once...

[p-eleles]

hi I love your new kalim-centric fic and im so happy there is leokali. haha who is the one person who everyone will see as a threat but who they cannot dare try to declaw… that’s right. i know leona isn’t even in the story yet but im already imagining with the preface of the first chapter set in, it’s such a refreshing perspective on their relationship; that kalim will pursue leona for the sincere want (visceral need) of having something or someone no one can take away or dare to impede the development of. how leona responds is an interpretation that can vary depending on what aspect of his character you lean into but “leona is bad with feelings” tag gives me so much love in my heart that leona and kalim will be treated with care as characters. im so excited for this thank you for spawning this fic into the ao3 void

You did it. You've cracked the initial nature of Kalim's interest and desire to pursue Leona in one ask! What can I say? Kalim loves his big cats. The more likely to snap at him, the better. I don't think Leona might like candied fruits, but the prospect of eating from Kalim's hand is tempting ( ￣-￣)

One thing (one of many, honestly) that I find very interesting about Kalim is, to paraphrase, when he showed genuine delight and joy at him and Jamil fighting because it was the most genuine interaction they'd had... ever. Kalim is naive, born from his optimistic outlook of life that itself was granted from the position he was born in, but he's not stupid. He's aware that many of his relationships are built on unequal ground—Jamil is his servant first and foremost; he's the dormleader of Scarabia (and sure, he got the position fair and square, but he wouldn't even be in Night Raven College if his parents hadn't bought his way in); he's not just rich rich, he's rich with prestige. Kalim's family name is a title all of its own.

He's clear that is the reason behind why people, if they don't like him, are at least obsequient. It's why his dream in Book 7 is incredibly fascinating. Kalim wants to truly be friends with Jamil without the weight of their respective roles hindering them. He desires people's honesty. Yet he's never anything but nice and sweet and loving when it comes to this, even in the privacy of his dreams.

And you know, obligatory Disney references all around: Kalim is twisted from the Sultan, but he's also a very Jasmine figure, desiring earnest connections and having Jamil/Jafar as something of an obstacle in that aspect. And also being good at throwing hands, for some reason (RIP Kalim, you would've loved Desert Scourge!Jasmine. Not).

Canonically, Leona likes Kalim. In his own particular way of liking people, but still. He recognizes his strengths and, most importantly of all, trusts him. And Kalim likes him back! Their dynamic is pretty limited compared to other characters, but the similarities between them have me in a chokehold. They're both characters best summed up as "I'll hold all my emotions here, and then one day, I'll die," except in vastly opposite directions. Plus, there's also the whole "disdained second born prince" vs. "beloved heir" and how Kalim's magic brings life while Leona's only destroys. He doesn't sugar coat what he feels or thinks–though he's king of obfuscation when he wants–and to Kalim, that earnest nature would be incredibly refreshing.

I feel like I can't write about a romance with Leona and not tag that he's bad at feelings. Kalim is in for a ride, but he's also horrifically bad at vocalizing his true desires. It's a very steep learning curve here, folks.

There's so much I want to say that I can't put to words in this ask because exactly! Kalim is driven by a desperate need to know he's genuinely loved, not because of who he is, but just because. Bro wants to be loved on purpose, not the uncertainty of a life where he's only given so much because he was born first!